Life is painful…
Last night I prayed.. again and again. When in fear but yet afraid to pray because i might resent it n feel more abandon again..
my heart been beating too fast in fear while my mind whirl around the past and future in tears.. the worst is not just facing this monster, but feeling like I have to face it alone.
so i pray again.. and i only ask for one thing.. the thing i been praying for.. took my bible out n ask god to tell me and let me know i am not alone, that “god… u hear me and is there for me”
it was past 3am by the time i read this page. I thought of falling asleep with the sound of church songs.. so i youtube “god be there for me” and the video appeared first was “god will make a way”.
finally at 4.30 am, blackness finally took over
After lunch, a friend from my previous department msn me.. somehow tears falls when i describe the pain. But i was then reminded.. That god had sent her to me to let me know again – i am not alone
Reached home and the bible verse from facebook today was
… say to those with fearful hearts, Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you