Dear Me, A Letter To My Sixteen-Year-Old-Self


Dear ling,

Just 2 hours ago, barely minutes after you turn twenty six (sounds awfully old to you now isn’t it?), you had the most lovely fright of your life. Sounds confusing? You see.. a bunch of lovelies decide to surprise you at your hotel at midnight by hiding in your room with a homemade cake and eerie music in the dark (yes, this is not a typo).

The panic attack with chills was immediately replace with warmth and love when you finally realize what is happening. The first hour of your birthday was totally unexpected but yet something you would had imagined as the perfect start for it was filled with presences and voices (your bff calling from Indonesia just to wish you Happy Birthday) of folks you hold close to you heart.

I can’t remember how you will spend your sixteen’s birthday but if my memory is still accurate (pardon me, it’s been 10 years), you should have collected your prelim results by now and is at your last leap for your O’levels examination. Which probably means no celebration but only lots and lots of “last minute hugging the Buddha leg” studying.

You be surprise to know that till now, my heart still swells with great gratitude as if i was still sixteen just yesterday whenever I recall my last year in secondary school.

It was a year that for the first time you have met people who had greater faith in you than yourself – the wonderful teachers and the two great principals. For while most students of the similar results of yours were retained in secondary 3, they not only promoted you to secondary four despite you failing most subjects, most importantly they were there at every leap pushing all of us and sacrificing personal time to give us after lesson tuition which were like vitamins, boosting our education health.

It will be a  year of surprise for many situation was turned around for you and you would be glad to know that all efforts were paid off as you passed every subject and made it to polytechnic (although you thought you didn’t when you were collecting your result slips thanks to your cheeky form teacher). You will have an unforgettable 16 my dear, a good one in the end.

There are quite a lot of things that will happen over the next 10 years and here are the top 10 things for you to know.

  • You will grow weaker instead but it’s actually okay.
    Most people think that they will grow stronger as they grow older but the truth is, at least for you, you will grow weaker. You keep wanting to get more but you will also realize that the more you have, the more you got to lose and battles will break you bit by bit.You always pride yourself being the strong one, being the pillar but to truth to be told, what you are doing now is just shutting down your emotions and locking your fears. It might be fine for now but in coming years, you will realize there will be periods of time when the box can no longer contain your fears and there will be days that there no lock can hold them and it can consume you. So I am telling you right now, it’s is okay to be scared and in fact only by facing your fears, then can you embrace it and overcome battles in life.
  • Time is the indeed the best medicine in life.
    By now you would have realize that there are a lot of things beyond your control and you might think that growing older, being able to support yourself will set you free It is only true to a certain extend and I’m sorry to have to tell you that there are actually even darker days ahead.Even though your ability to support yourself helps but only time can heal some of the deepest wounds and the broken relationships that you think you might never ever recover from. So give yourself time, slow down, listen to yourself, pace yourself, and give yourself the best medicine in life so you can enjoy your life better.
  • Never say never.
    Not because you don’t know yourself well, but because you don’t know what changes the future can bring in and around you. So do yourself a favor, don’t ever be too sure of anything in life so to expect the unexpected.
  • Relationship does get rekindled.
    Remember how you are always lamenting about how distant you feel towards your relative and cousins in Singapore and how ironic that you feel closer to your Malaysian cousin whom you only meet once in a year instead?The good news is now, your relationship with them are revitalized and they no longer feels like stranger to you. It almost feel like those childhood times again, where you guys hid under the blanket and watch that terrifying witch show almost every year.
  • You will get past the “I feel so awkward” stage.
    Right now, one of the most dreadful things is meeting your neighbor in the lift or seeing an old friend whom you lose touch when you are out shipping. Are you still going to the extent of avoiding eye contact just to pretend you didn’t see them for you have no idea what to say if they recognize you.?The good thing is your socializing skills actually gets improve over the years, still not great yet but much better. At least I can say 10 years later, you won’t sweat about it anymore.
  • Friendship.
    Right now numbers counts but 10 years later, you realize only that few matters. It shouldn’t be of a surprise that the longest friendship you have will be with Christine whom is actually married now (you might want to tell her she will meet her future husband whens she in poly) but you be surprised to know that your bff now is kat and with her, it stands for “best bitch forever” instead of the usual best friend forever. In a very good way i mean.One of your favorite clique are made of the most random and least closest people around you now (you be glad to know siew ting is one of them but seriously, check out hweeli who almost doesn’t exist in the class for she dash home for 5566 right after school and Kirk Lim who….. is.. oh well, you will know later).

    I cant tell you much about the others for you have no idea who they are now but you will get to meet one bunch in your 2nd year of poly and another 3rd year in HP (oh yes, you are actually going to work in HP and meet many wonderful and interesting people!)

  • Weight.
    Nope, I am sorry to tell you that 10 years later you are still not slim and have not attempted any diet yet.
  • Worse people, best lessons.
    If you think some folks in school are mean idiots, wait till you get to poly and start working. You will question god about this but you will be thankful for them for the more awful they are, the nicer you will learn to be as you would not want to be them. You will see some of your flaws in them and thanks to them, you be able to fix it while you are young.
  • Be good.
    Always stay true to yourself and be good. You are going to face a lot of questions and need to make a lot of decision in the next 10 years which will torment you but in the end, there is actually only one question to ask yourself.“Will I regret this?” and rest assured that your heart always answers, just please make sure your brain listen..
  • All things happen for a reason.
    Believe in that, you don’t need to know the reason but just believe it that for god has a plan for you and even at the worst situation, it is for a good reason. And yes, you are a Christian now.

For the next 10 years, you will lose and find many things but on 24th August 2013, you are happy.

With all my love,

Me

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