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陳奕迅 with his 看穿


Tried my best to settle my mind and heart by responding at my best to both positively. I guess between bff and me, we just gotta resign to fate of this is how the long distance friendship gotta be between us and hopefully it will stop draining us. Been praying for her and hope that god can comfort her and that she can be completed by god’s love on herself instead on depending on others. As usual I’m not sure and still quite awkward on how to respond to her relationship. I’m worried not just because of the complexity and the amount of the toxic it holds behind both but that she is slipping into depression and I dont know how to pull her back. How to make her feel loved within the capacity I can give. But I gotta keep trying and keep a tab on her as much as I can.

On the next friend, ms suddenly sensitive, I tried my best to explain and clarify in between the her denials,claims and outbreaks. I’m guessing it helped a little digging what she was truly unhappy with us and unfortunately I was the executor and respondent so I have much more to deal with it. Although I’ve tried clarifying, things sure are awkward. Now it feels like we all gotta walk around the eggshells because with this suddenly outbreak, we are confused and same for her because her suddenly dislike of jokes about her is going to make her be-careful. This is not unfamiliar and I am not surprised, I have seen those signs before of the similar traits of her and others who are like this. I guess it is bothering me much more than I like because i hate hanging in the air and the also know the huge amount of patience and tact needed  to handle someone like this.

Not as fast as I like but I think i am getting less affected   though time to time my mind wanders off to the murky water and trying to analyze where did it came from and got irritated again then I am drawn to it.  The song came on the radio and the lyrics gave me those answers. I take a 2nd look and am even more surprised at the title which is my biggest strength and flaw. To see through one easily.

陳奕迅 with his 看穿
作詞:藍又時
作曲:藍又時
編曲:唐奕聰
監製:梁榮駿

你可以看穿誰 泛黃的舊照片
怎麼仔細看也看不出
他當時候腦袋裡想的 是誰
你想要看穿誰 誠懇卻又挑著眉
說了三言兩語一字一句
到頭來還是分不出 白或是黑

偏偏 人總是偏偏 用說謊做為最前線
天天 像無止境的 發瘋似的假冒為仙

每個人 都會很習慣 碰見了人 先做表面
每個人 都會不習慣 看見了人 真誠為先
每個人 都會很習慣 面對了人 先做表面
每個人 都會不習慣 看見了人 真誠為先

又想要看穿誰 有什麼新發現
就算你有多少百般論點

卻也無法看穿是誰戴 假面
低著頭看著鞋 乾乾淨淨沒殘缺
躺在街頭路上才會發現
跨過我的每雙鞋底 層層污點

偏偏 人總是偏偏 看那華麗的超越一切
天天 像無止境的 發瘋似的走最高點

每個人 都會很習慣 碰見了人 先做表面
每個人 都會不習慣 看見了人 真誠為先
每個人 都會很習慣 面對了人 先做表面
每個人 都會不習慣 看見了人 真誠為先

每個人 都會很喜歡 東說西說 自我表現
每個人 都會不喜歡 到處奔波 賺點小錢
每個人 都會很喜歡 插了隊就 一步登天
每個人 都會不喜歡 照著規矩 按步向前

I cant help but to feel it’s a season of brewing toxic vs the augsomeness that i would like. I see troubles and aches all around me, I been praying for others so much that I am starting to feel bad giving god  the starting to get longer and longer list of names. I am trying my best to avoid being tinted by others’ toxic steer clear of whatever negative seems to be brewing in them. So i changed my prayer for him to lead and strengthen my ways accordingly to his wills.

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Shoo negativity


This week is bad and i am glad it’s over..
negativity just keep swarming and tears keep clouding my sight..
anger rising and temper have to be consistently kept in checked..

every time i see that asshole face, all i want to is return that punch.

every time someone tell me to forgive so i am a bigger person i want to tell whoever to fuck off as they have not give as much as i did and get betrayed that way.

every time some one tries to criticize me in anyway or even in anyway try to put me in a bad light, i feel like giving it to them and ask them to take a look at themselves at the mirror first and if they are that delusional, i can certainly help to enlighten them with their flaws.

i am so angry so upset so freaking mad
who doesnt know that being happy is good
who doesnt know that letting go of anger is better
but the heart just have it ways beyond the brain’s control
so please shut up and stay out of the way

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That punch


I believe that punch delivered to my right cheek yesterday will no sooner or later be delivered to your gut and while i fall on the floor, you will fall to hell.

As much as i like to deliver that punch back to your sicking face right to your menacing eyes, i will leave it to the will of god to do what is right at the his time and i shall raise above your lowly status.

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love hate help


I am often considered a helpful person and am always more then happy to help but more then often these days, these years sometimes i dread it

My dread is starting to hate and i hate hating like this because i used to love it and am happy but…

i’m starting to hate it..hate it when people expect me to do things expect me to help.. i love helping but i hate it when it became expected

when it is expected, it a whole different story