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Tale as old as time


My favorite disney gal of all and oh how this classic gem sparkles every single time.

“Beauty And The Beast”

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly

Just a little change
Small, to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast

[2x]
Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong

Certain as the sun
Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the beast.

Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the beast.

Beauty and the beast.

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goodbye and hello 2014


I’ve been intending to blog like I used to for the longest time but i guess i have gone past the phrase of blogging my life vs now blogging thoughts. Let’s see if I can get that drive back, I do used to enjoy reading my archive and know what happened when.

I don’t recalled when i last did i recapped of the year but somehow the idea keep coming to my mind this year. Might be because i was sorting out my album and realized the travel trips these recent years, particularly 2013 was more than i had recalled.

travel as of 2013

It seems like i been covering 3 trips every year since 2011 which was also the start of my new job and also the year after I have finally graduated. For someone who barely traveled for the past 20 years, I have never imagine a life like that at twenties and I am thankful for it.

Here’s 2011….

travel 2011

It started with meeting Kat in Indonesia and this time instead of Jakarta, we venture out to bandung as she is familiar with that place due to work. I recalled it was during the Singapore election period and practically didn’t get to sleep for 3 days straight due to *ahem* many reasons and once again, her father issue with fat folks disturbed me. That aside, all i did was booked air ticket and the minute I arrive till I left, I was all kat’s and we had a blast eating, shopping, swimming in the dark getting freak out and lots of fun! I was really well taken care of by my fbf #favBitchForever

Danang was probably the most unforgettable trip of all for it was the first and hopefully the last time ever that i will missed a flight DESPITE checking in on time. Super wtf moment as i stood there helplessly for 30 mins, watching the plane leave without us. We were so jinxed with our flight through out the whole trip (I hate you jet star for all damn connecting flight) and every single flight screwed up with long hours of delays (it took us 15 hours to get there and another 10 to get back). It’s probably the last trip with Jing Wee too as shortly after the trip she got hitched and had a baby (turn out she was already pregnant during the trip) and went MIA since. All the huge and little hiccups but overall pleasant holiday as i lugged back a bag of custom made clothes really made this the most unforgettable trip of the year.

Bali was interesting with the tais tais who had so kindly excluded me in the villa payment, giving me a treat (though at the end of it, I wished i didnt take it because of a remark) and to be honest, despite it being enjoyable, I am not sure i have really visited Bali at the end of the day for I have not touched any of the famous sand beaches and all i recalled was the expensive dining places that had me at awed. Was a really different trip that I probably would only enjoy with these Tais Tais who were kind enough to ask me along.

Batam was a last minute trip with folks I barely know a year but yet are super close friends/colleague now. It was fuss free, basically only chilling, playing majong, eating maggie every meal. Was a really good ending trip all in all.

travel 2012

2012 was really special and every trip is so memorable!

Starting with my first ever business trip to shanghai! I have been quite demoralized and has very low job confidence from my previous job (which in a twist of story, i realize that ex-boss was being kept out of this event) so when I was asked along this business trip, i really couldn’t believe it. It was such an….. adventure! I was practically squealing when i saw the amazzzzzing view from my hotel (which was like 6 stars, a luxury I know I wont be able to afford on my own). The adventure starts from working like mad to getting my valuables stolen, sitting in a police car, a scary time getting my police report to my extended time to explore from Shanghai to Hangzou alone (which also made me realize traveling alone can be quite lonely). Despite the huge hiccup, I managed to recover my loss thanks to insurance and company’s claims. I must say I am truly and really blessed.

Hong Kong in June made me missed Singapore’s weather. Summer in Hong Kong is no joke. It was more of a eating trip, so much eating that i went puking one of the evening. We are practically 5 meals a day and every single meal is so good! Hong Kong is truly a place to eat shop eat shop eat shop just as it’s iconic advertisement.

Sydney was fantastic for i saw snow and ski/snowboard for the first time! nothing beats that and oh boy how my friend and i combed the supermarkets and you’ll be surprised how much one can spend there. Though i cant say for my friend who really cant seems to survive in western country, eating western food most of the time but i had a reallly good time and would like to explore more of wonderful Australia.

travel 2013

Taiwan with the amazing 3 girls i met at work and now we became so close that it’s hard to imagine going work without seeing them. I thought it would be perfect but to be honest, there were a lot of times i wish I am back in Singapore. There were too much unexpected hiccups. Apart of snoring every single night (thank god for ear plugs), the gals had struck a silly chord of pretending to be from China with a countryside accent which got me really irritated as they do that everyday and I was quite embarrassed at some point. Other than that, my friend got so sea sick from dolphin sight seeing, I messed up out Ali-san B&B boking, my taiwan friend messing my last night and got me quite upset before i left. However Hua Lien really amazed me with the good food, good view and good people which i cant stop raving to others when I am back.

Thailand was stressing as it’s the first time i brought my dad out alone on a trip overseas. My dad has alot of  issues on health and it really was stressful for meespecially when he couldnt wait to buy his first whiskey at the airport which got me in tears at the custom counter. The bangkok hotel condition and location was terrible and my dad had gotten MIA a couple of times and due to his drinking, his gastric started acting up during almost the whole time we were in bangkok. I thought things will be better when we reached hua hin but i end up in hospital thanks to the hotel getting me food poisoning which needed me to be on drips. IT was a trip that i had been debating for the longest time and despite all, I am glad i did it although it really shaken my faith and I am not sure if i will do it again.

Of all, I think it’s obvious I truly enjoyed langkawi most as it fulfilled my wish of visiting my grandma at her kumpong and was the trip with the least hiccups. i guess I truly relax throughout the whole trip and enjoyed every moment. Even the hiccup of missing out snorkeling didnt get me upset as with my jie meis, every day and night was so fun! Tried motor boat and had an embarrassing time para skiing too. From land of duty free and watching my friends get drunk plus i get to drive too (I think that was the bonus)! It was amazing Langkawi. All in all, I had a blast ;D

Other than the trips, I also had an awesome birthday that is really the best so far.
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I really felt blessed throughout August. It have gotten a free hotel stay for 4 days, lovely surprise party by my beloved and close friends and had a great time in most celebration. Am also learning to let go the expectation of presents and i think because of it, i had a better time.

2013

The past years had been up and down of extreme peaks, losing my granny and 3rd grand uncle, fighting a lot of internal battle and battles at home.. There so much more to learn like learning to love myself more, learning how to juggle who to keep and who to let go in life. There so much as usual, at some point, some closure of fear, some open of hearts, growing stronger in ties, growing weaker in mental health.

As for 2014, I have epi lasik, Batam, Japan and Korea coming up! I can hardly wait! Most people say “please be good 2014” but I’m gonna say

“I’ll be good and make 2014 good with Jesus!”

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Beyond Kindness


Today i was shown that it really takes so much more than just kindness when helping someone who is so incorrigible, rude and full of herself.

Over the years I’ve witnessed generosity and wisdom over the years from my uncles and recently even humility which is totally unexpected from one of my uncles that had really touched us which also trigger this whole “project” to action.

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Last night my elder cousins really had me at awed (despite my fuming anger at an ingrate) as they displayed an immense amount of grace, empathy and patience towards someone who doesn’t deserve it at all but probably need it more than the rest when dealt with.

That when i realize my kindness is limited in terms of my review of the receiver’s attitude as i let judgment and anger get it the way of the intention. I have underestimate myself, thinking i be able to deal with a difficult person but even so, I am glad i did else i would have missed out another lesson i need to put myself through.

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To be honest, none of us know if this will turn out worth it or not but we just gotta give her and ourselves that one last try so that we can all move on with no “if only”. The things we have heard last week, an arrogant spoilt daughter who see wrong in everyone else except the one she faced in the mirror, unappreciative, bitter, very clever, twisted words vs a mother whose biggest mistake is spoiling her daughter too much, was so quick to reflect herself and take the blame, letting guilt gnaw and so willing to be the one taking a step back and I wonder how can so much love turn someone to a monster.. When will this pair of mother daughter ever reconcile, we dont know…

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During this process of helping, I looks like i will need to rely and pray to god for his strength and wisdom on dealing with difficult people to attain the below..

Proverbs 12:16 tells us that “a fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.”

I have a long way to go from fool to prudent (not even sure if i will ever be able to master that) but I am so thankful that i have these amazing roles models in my life to look up and be inspired by them.

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Babies talk


On Thursday night, my mum dig out one of baby albums after sharing and showing her one of the latest conversation of my whatsaps – babies.

It’s no surprise that during dragon year, babies booms like “hot cakes” as dragon was the popular kid compared to the rest of the zodiac animals.

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So i have reached that age and people around me are showing babies pictures like their newest handbag purchase and the sheer amount of baby talks i am surrounded with sometimes overwhelms me to the point that I have master the ability to teleport myself out of the zone mentally despite nodding in conversation.

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So there’s two babies, one as cute as a button korean baby and another frowning and stressful looking Hong Kong Baby.

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Two worlds apart with only one common point – Singapore dad. But yet somehow my mum says that I look alike both babies when i was young.

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It’s like mission impossible but yet she prove herself right after we flipped through the pages.

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As I get amazed by how cute i was and at the same time wonder what happened during the growing up process, and i was apparently the easiest and cutest kid among three or may i brag most kids.

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Mum shared about how easy/hard/frustrating/guilty/fun/hilarious to raise three of us and then it hit me how similar it sound.

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It those babies stories and snippets that i been hearing from the new mummies at work and it was just amazing because this time the baby she is talking about is me! ME! and okay, fine.. my sis and bro too.

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Then it dawned to me how much have changed since but much it has not for my mum. she is still the mummy gushing about her kids, remembering all those fine details, have a huge enormous and sometimes bottomless pit of patience and love for us.

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That is why she remains at the most important person in my life whom i cant afford to lose and is trying my best to afford her a better life.

 

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Dear Me, A Letter To My Sixteen-Year-Old-Self


Dear ling,

Just 2 hours ago, barely minutes after you turn twenty six (sounds awfully old to you now isn’t it?), you had the most lovely fright of your life. Sounds confusing? You see.. a bunch of lovelies decide to surprise you at your hotel at midnight by hiding in your room with a homemade cake and eerie music in the dark (yes, this is not a typo).

The panic attack with chills was immediately replace with warmth and love when you finally realize what is happening. The first hour of your birthday was totally unexpected but yet something you would had imagined as the perfect start for it was filled with presences and voices (your bff calling from Indonesia just to wish you Happy Birthday) of folks you hold close to you heart.

I can’t remember how you will spend your sixteen’s birthday but if my memory is still accurate (pardon me, it’s been 10 years), you should have collected your prelim results by now and is at your last leap for your O’levels examination. Which probably means no celebration but only lots and lots of “last minute hugging the Buddha leg” studying.

You be surprise to know that till now, my heart still swells with great gratitude as if i was still sixteen just yesterday whenever I recall my last year in secondary school.

It was a year that for the first time you have met people who had greater faith in you than yourself – the wonderful teachers and the two great principals. For while most students of the similar results of yours were retained in secondary 3, they not only promoted you to secondary four despite you failing most subjects, most importantly they were there at every leap pushing all of us and sacrificing personal time to give us after lesson tuition which were like vitamins, boosting our education health.

It will be a  year of surprise for many situation was turned around for you and you would be glad to know that all efforts were paid off as you passed every subject and made it to polytechnic (although you thought you didn’t when you were collecting your result slips thanks to your cheeky form teacher). You will have an unforgettable 16 my dear, a good one in the end.

There are quite a lot of things that will happen over the next 10 years and here are the top 10 things for you to know.

  • You will grow weaker instead but it’s actually okay.
    Most people think that they will grow stronger as they grow older but the truth is, at least for you, you will grow weaker. You keep wanting to get more but you will also realize that the more you have, the more you got to lose and battles will break you bit by bit.You always pride yourself being the strong one, being the pillar but to truth to be told, what you are doing now is just shutting down your emotions and locking your fears. It might be fine for now but in coming years, you will realize there will be periods of time when the box can no longer contain your fears and there will be days that there no lock can hold them and it can consume you. So I am telling you right now, it’s is okay to be scared and in fact only by facing your fears, then can you embrace it and overcome battles in life.
  • Time is the indeed the best medicine in life.
    By now you would have realize that there are a lot of things beyond your control and you might think that growing older, being able to support yourself will set you free It is only true to a certain extend and I’m sorry to have to tell you that there are actually even darker days ahead.Even though your ability to support yourself helps but only time can heal some of the deepest wounds and the broken relationships that you think you might never ever recover from. So give yourself time, slow down, listen to yourself, pace yourself, and give yourself the best medicine in life so you can enjoy your life better.
  • Never say never.
    Not because you don’t know yourself well, but because you don’t know what changes the future can bring in and around you. So do yourself a favor, don’t ever be too sure of anything in life so to expect the unexpected.
  • Relationship does get rekindled.
    Remember how you are always lamenting about how distant you feel towards your relative and cousins in Singapore and how ironic that you feel closer to your Malaysian cousin whom you only meet once in a year instead?The good news is now, your relationship with them are revitalized and they no longer feels like stranger to you. It almost feel like those childhood times again, where you guys hid under the blanket and watch that terrifying witch show almost every year.
  • You will get past the “I feel so awkward” stage.
    Right now, one of the most dreadful things is meeting your neighbor in the lift or seeing an old friend whom you lose touch when you are out shipping. Are you still going to the extent of avoiding eye contact just to pretend you didn’t see them for you have no idea what to say if they recognize you.?The good thing is your socializing skills actually gets improve over the years, still not great yet but much better. At least I can say 10 years later, you won’t sweat about it anymore.
  • Friendship.
    Right now numbers counts but 10 years later, you realize only that few matters. It shouldn’t be of a surprise that the longest friendship you have will be with Christine whom is actually married now (you might want to tell her she will meet her future husband whens she in poly) but you be surprised to know that your bff now is kat and with her, it stands for “best bitch forever” instead of the usual best friend forever. In a very good way i mean.One of your favorite clique are made of the most random and least closest people around you now (you be glad to know siew ting is one of them but seriously, check out hweeli who almost doesn’t exist in the class for she dash home for 5566 right after school and Kirk Lim who….. is.. oh well, you will know later).

    I cant tell you much about the others for you have no idea who they are now but you will get to meet one bunch in your 2nd year of poly and another 3rd year in HP (oh yes, you are actually going to work in HP and meet many wonderful and interesting people!)

  • Weight.
    Nope, I am sorry to tell you that 10 years later you are still not slim and have not attempted any diet yet.
  • Worse people, best lessons.
    If you think some folks in school are mean idiots, wait till you get to poly and start working. You will question god about this but you will be thankful for them for the more awful they are, the nicer you will learn to be as you would not want to be them. You will see some of your flaws in them and thanks to them, you be able to fix it while you are young.
  • Be good.
    Always stay true to yourself and be good. You are going to face a lot of questions and need to make a lot of decision in the next 10 years which will torment you but in the end, there is actually only one question to ask yourself.“Will I regret this?” and rest assured that your heart always answers, just please make sure your brain listen..
  • All things happen for a reason.
    Believe in that, you don’t need to know the reason but just believe it that for god has a plan for you and even at the worst situation, it is for a good reason. And yes, you are a Christian now.

For the next 10 years, you will lose and find many things but on 24th August 2013, you are happy.

With all my love,

Me

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God and Humility


just as i been pondering on this.. How in time God’s words are..

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have you ever been.. or ever met folks that constantly seek to impress others, always magnifying and making a fuss of others faults yet so forgiving and blinded about theirs? Dropping names and claiming credit and relationship with their mouth? Making others feel bad to feel good about themselves?

I want to be impressive too to i can fly higher but never the above ways and i hope i will never be..

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I really believe its not about the names you drop but instead who is dropping your name. To be forgiving to others fault is actually more impressive than doing the opposite for how good can one be if one is shinning while stepping on others?

Humility (adjectival form: humble) is the quality of being modest or respectful. While we say what we say, do we hear what we say? How many times have you been impressed by a humble person vs a boastful one?

In the end… tt good to be great but even greater to be good.

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Happiness


有时当下很幸福,很安稳,很顺利时,站在高峰才刚开始享受美景,环境或心里会不由自主的让我慢慢担心和害怕。

担心它会很快离我而去,
害怕幸福离开时,我会不会应为太享受幸福和安稳的日子,没有时会太痛苦。

I remembered I once used to feel really ridiculous about this and even mocked at that someone who made the below comment

“at my happiest stage, i usually feel even more frighten as i dont know when is the next moment where i will lose all these”

I went like

CRAZY! If you meant to lose it, you will lose it and worrying will not help to secure it but instead pushing it further, making the current happiness in your hand diminished bit by bit

I can understand why people feel that way. They relate the common factor of “happiness” when they gain and lose it to feelings they had. I also understand the fear which is usually due to experience.

And although i have all the logic on hand, right things i know to do.. my heart doesn’t follow.

Now, once again, i become the person i used to ridiculed at.