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Farewell Granny


My cousin (1st child of my 1st uncle) was elected to give a farewell speech on the last day before we send granny off.

Afraid that she would burst into tears standing alone, we asked for my god brother and me team up with her. we worked the last 3 nights together and put together the speech and also crafted our own speech to add on.

We spend those night “interviewing” each parents of the 8 families in the family tree to give either their deepest impression or any last words they wish to tell her.

It fulfills my long time desire to hear any stories of the Teo family. It was like a story-telling session as more and more chairs get together the table. Those stories was paired with tears, laughter and with love.

The main speech….

各位长辈和奶奶生前的亲朋好友们, 我谨代表我的全体家人感谢你们掏出宝贵的时间到这里参加我们奶奶,丁爱治,的丧礼。特别感谢从远方到来的亲戚,你们真有心。

今天我们三位会代表我们全家对奶奶说我们最后的告别词。

那就从我老爸 ah lam 开始吧!奶奶,老爸记得你时常对他说“手会生肉”。您的教诲使他学会了自力更生,不求于人的人生态度,也促使他今天的成就。我从老爸身上也发现了他拥有了你刻苦耐劳的精神,每天都从早工作到晚。

二婶婶,秀微记得你以前常常会打电话到她家,和她聊聊家里的境况,常常会和她说 “Ji Ki Cao, Ji Diam Lor” (一根草,一滴露)她们一家希望您一路好走,在极乐世界,过的开心。

三叔叔,ah hong,说他知道您一直以来都宁愿自己承担所有的痛苦,也不愿让我们担心您,怕会造成我们的负担,尤其在近几年里,你时常进出医院的这段日子。。他也希望您会一路好走

四叔叔 (ah chuan)一家希望您会在另一边过得开开心

五叔叔 (ah soon) 永远忘不了当年他在当兵时进医院的时候,当他一个人孤零零在感叹时,只有您去看他,还带了让他至今难忘的那包饭里的那只sibei大只的虾。他说世界上还是只有 mother你是最棒,不只刻苦耐劳也非常了不起。他记得您以前为了这个家,每天风雨不改,起早摸黑的拼命工作,一天只能睡上三小时而已。也因此造就了他们从小就独立的性格。

六叔叔(ah seng)很感谢您不辞劳苦的一手把他们八个兄弟姐妹带大,也很希望如果有来生,他很想能再当您的儿子。小婶婶(ah yan)也想在此感谢您能见证到vicky的婚礼。并且一直等他们从台湾回来。

小姑姑(Ah sim)想要谢谢您教她怎么做个更称职的妻子与母亲,也因为您,让她能够拥有个完整与幸福的家庭。你也时常会提醒她,不管是对人或事,都要往好的一面想。在她眼里,您总是个很相信身边的人,也对大家都很慷慨。

Last but not least, we will also like to take this chance to thank Anna, who has been taking such good care of our granny these past few years, treating 99 as her own mother. We believed 99 have trained you well t be the world’s no. 1 masseuse as well. Thank you very much for the care, love and patience you have showered on our 99

奶奶,今天我们因为您又聚在一起,我们很感谢您曾为我们所做的一切。您的离去是我们不得不接受的事实。我们相信我们是您在这世界上生命的延续,我们会尽力做最好的自己,绝不让您失望,请您安心地走吧。虽然我们不能达成您最后想抱曾孙的心愿,但是那一天总会来的。请你看到爷爷时帮我们向他问好,可别跟他吵架喔?

想你和爱你的子孙们上

奶奶在这一生中扮演了很多重要的角色,她是家中的长女,是我无父无母爷爷的太太。是八位叔叔姑姑们的 mother, 是22位子孙的奶奶,还是位很强的商人。 她也许不是每个人心中的 number 1。但她在她的人生里,她给了她能力范围内超越一般人可以给的。

不管你是她的睢,我想你们一定和我们一样,会怀念那一位了不起的女人. 谢谢.

My speech (that was said before we thank Anna the great helper!) was put together with my closest cousin whom couldnt make it back as she was on her honeymoon trip)

我是惠琳,在此我也要帮我堂姐, vicky, 和奶奶告别。奶奶,vicky要我和您说一声她很抱歉没能来送您,也谢谢您为了她坚强了那么久,让她可以顺利完成婚礼。

和我一样,我们记得您常常在我们去看您时,常常会偷偷塞塞钱给我们,我记得有一次,您的身上没钱,就直接想也不想的直接把您的atm卡和密码,要我去领钱。当时我有点吓倒您就那么相信只有15岁的我。

vicky说也因此她应为以同学的零用钱多,常常是大家羡慕的对象。我们也记得每个星期天的大与大肉,vicky 说她唯一遗憾是没能亲自和您学习您的手艺。

我呢,只要吃到kan dan 的 ham 炒 tomato, 就会说 ”啊,这是奶奶的味道“。

只要看到 3C, Cigarette, casino, coke 就会想到您,只要闻到上标油,也会想到您。 哇,在我心中,您是这些东西的代言人!

vicky 说想对您说不管别人说什么,对她而言,您是最棒的奶奶,谢谢您那么坚强。vicky和我会永远想念您,把您放在我们的心中。谢谢您让我从您人身上看到了“坚强”两个字,对我而言, 这两个字是我一直努力的方向,您就是我往后人生中的榜样。 再见了奶奶

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my weekend


On Friday morning, i was really excited because i have a drink date at night with the gals follow by a Saturday Xiao long one month celebration and ending with Sunday of being a bridesmaid for my Primary school longest ever friend wedding. So so much to anticipate.

On Friday late afternoon, I have gotten text messages from cousins about how Nai Nai (how we call our granny) heartbeat is getting weaker.

My granny was a woman to 8 kids, a fighter, a gambler, a smoker, a woman who wear the pants in the house, put food on the table, well traveled, extremely stubborn and now in her eighties. she is truly “like a boss”.

I cant say we have shared many or much memorable time together as i only felt closer to her from these past recent year and those were the years where life is draining away from her along with the in and out visits from the hospital.

I would love to say my family is closely knitted but unfortunately we arnt really so. History and issues that are so deeply rooted and it got in the way of kinship.

On friday evening, not knowing how serious it was, we make our way to my uncle’s place. My granny is definitely at her last leap of life and she had amazingly made it beyond what most would have expected.. She is a strong fighter despite her willingness to move on.

… However we didnt made it there, being minutes away from her last breath. When we reached, her body was still warm even as we lingered around while waiting for the doctor to come. I remembered standing at the door, frozen. She was different already, she wasnt my granny, my granny had left. But i was unsure, despite the obvious fact.

I dare not ask as i hold on desperately to the hope. as long as there is no answer, there is hope. It didnt lasted very long before we realize in shock she really…. had passed away.

The feeling is complicated. You lost her but she won in getting her freedom and what she had wanted for a long time.

At her last leap, she was really depressed, angry, sad and very very uncomfortable. Her organs are failing or had failed her one by one and it was a really sad process with all the in and out of hospital, her attempt to just die by rejecting medical help because it was all to painful to live.

Today is day 3 since her last breath, the weekend is gone and i woke up this morning with this song in my head and this lyrics on a loop – “我终于失去了你, 在拥挤的人群中”.


我終於失去了你
作詞:沈光遠/李宗盛 作曲:趙傳/李宗盛 編曲:涂惠源

当所有的人离开我的时候
你劝我要耐心等候
并且陪我度过生命中最长的寒冬
如此的宽容

当所有的人靠紧我的时候
你要我安静从容
似乎知道我有一颗永不安静的心
(我)容易蠢动

我终于让千百只手在我面前挥舞
我终于拥有了千百个热情的笑容
我终于让人群被我深深的打动

我却忘了告诉你 你一直在我心中
啊…

我终于失去了你
在拥挤的人群中

我终于失去了你
当我的人生第一次感到光荣
啊…

我终于失去了你
在拥挤的人群中

我终于失去了你
当我的人生第一次感到光荣
当四周掌声如潮水一般的汹涌
我见到你眼中有伤心的泪光闪动

and i end up sobbing at a corner later at night as the heartache grew and missing grew too strong to take it.